Fuck a Box.

Hey Readers & Blogger Fam,

I hope you all are having a blessed and productive weekend.  This one (surprisingly) is gonna be short and to the point. Today, I just want to touch on classifications, limitations, categorizations, etc.

Fuck ’em. 

Pardon my French.

But seriously.   Forget everything you’ve ever been told you couldn’t do up til this point.  Forget those primary school and high school assessments that told you what you’d grow up to be.  Pay no mind to the family members who tried to prod you into certain career paths with two-sided statements like, “Are you sure you want to study Law?  That’s gonna take a lot of work, you know. I think you have such a natural knack for writing; you should be a journalist!”  Ignore those of your friends who continue to remind you of what you’re not good at because they “know you so well and don’t want you to fail”.

Fuck all that.

The secret to success is not hidden in some blueprint that you can Google or read in the latest self-help book.   It’s not derived from the advice of people who wish to live vicariously through you.  The secret to success is enveloped in two simple virtues:

  1. Faith
  2. Passion


Every thing that we know in this world is the result of human thought.  It was first conceived in the mind, and then brought to life.  Whether consciously or subconsciously, we create our reality every day with the power of our minds and our words.

Proverbs 18:21 states: Death and Life are in the power of the tongue.

You don’t have to be a bible-toter to understand that as fact.  For the disbelievers, take a look at The Law of Attraction, which states that: like attracts like.

It all comes down to one thing:  What you believe will happen, will happen. And where you plant the seeds of doubt, you will reap no fruit.

Faith is the first step to achieving your goals.  You must visualize yourself at the peak of actualization.  You must speak it into existence, and thus it will exist.



But the only way to truly believe that something is possible is to desire it with all your being.

The human condition is an amazing thing.  Our bodies and our minds are programmed to adapt to most environments.  More so, they evolve to suit our needs.  The homo sapiens genus survived because we were the strongest and the most intelligent (and some say, the most violent – but that’s another blog) of our common ancestors.   We utilized our skills to create technology and advance society, and to this day, we are still finding new and easier ways to do everyday things.  That is the power of the human mind to innovate in the event of necessity.

But the same drive that comes from hunger, discomfort, poverty, can be nurtured in us all with a thing called passion.  Merriam-Webster defines the word as “a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something”.  A lot of people set out to attain something, but quit or lose faith once they begin encountering setbacks.  Setbacks are inevitable.  So what separates those at the finish line from those who started the race?

Having a true passion for something means that you are consumed by thoughts of it.  You eat, sleep, breathe, what it is that you set out to do.  It’s not a task, or a burden, because you truly enjoy it and couldn’t see yourself doing anything else.  When challenges arise, your brilliant mind will create ways to work around them instead of resigning to inaction.

I call this the lottery test:
If you won the National Lottery, would you quit your job and invest in something else? Or would you invest that money into improving what you already do?

If you’ve chosen the latter, you may be one of the lucky people who have found their passion.   See, those who haven’t are always looking for an excuse or an escape.  The ones who do what they love are always looking to improve or invest.

The aforementioned principles work in synchronicity. It’s a two-part system and one cannot exist without the other.  Faith may be the vehicle that takes you there, but passion is the fuel.  We need to have our tanks fully gassed up so we can go for the long haul.



Okay, so it wasn’t short and to the point; I may have rambled on for a bit.  But you get it.  

Have a great Saturday and a peaceful weekend.
Til next time.
Love, D.

Quote of the Day

“You’re going to meet many people with domineering personalities: the loud, the obnoxious, those that noisily stake their claims in your territory and everywhere else they set foot on.  This is the blueprint of a predator.  Predators  prey on gentleness, peace, calmness, sweetness and any positivity that they sniff out as weakness.  It’s not your job to change these people, but it’s your job to show them that your peace and gentleness do not equate to weakness. I have always appeared to be fragile and delicate but the thing is, I am not fragile and I am not delicate.  I am very gentle but I can show you that the gentle also possess a poison.  I compare myself to silk.  People mistake silk to be weak but a silk handkerchief can protect the wearer from a gunshot.  There are many people who will want to befriend you if you fit the description of what they think is weak; predators want to have friends that they can dominate over because that makes them feel strong and important.  The truth is that predators have no strength and no courage.  It is you who are strong, and it is you who has courage.  I have lost many a friend over the fact that when they attempt to rip me, they can’t.  They accuse me of being deceiving; I am not deceiving, I am just made of silk.  It is they who are stupid and wrongly take gentleness and fairness for weakness.  There are many more predators in this world, so I want you to be made of silk.   You are silk.”

–  C. Joybell C.

Chopping off the Dead Weight

Hey Readers & Blogger Fam,

It’s been a little while since I’ve shared with you.  My job and school are leeching my time and energy.  As soon as I get home, I just want to crawl under the sheets, start playing a crossword puzzle I know I won’t get to finish, and knock out until my alarm starts blaring in the morning. Buttt, since I have a spot of “free” time right now, I thought I’d share a bit of my personal life with you.

I recently made the decision to release myself from the bonds of chemical relaxers.  I’m ditching the perm and embracing my natural roots as they grow out of my scalp – kinky, curly, and beautiful.  There are a lot of drivers behind my choice to be natural.  The most important, however, is my desire to change the way I interpret my own physical attractiveness.  For years, I’ve succumbed to the notion that straight hair; long, flowing tresses; and tracks of voluminous curls sacrificed in Indian temples were the standard of beauty.  I can recall myself saying to my hairstylist on several occasions, “Just take the weave out, wash it, and put it back in.   My hair is still too short to wear out.”

Even when I stopped wearing weave, I was addicted to the creamy crack.  The relaxers that would damage the bonds in my hair and straighten it completely to give me what I thought was that “sleek, finished look”.  I’d take pleasure in flipping my hair left and right, and running my hands through it without hitting any snags.  However, slowly but surely, my hair would start splitting.  And the care required to reduce the occurrence of those split-ends was intense.  I was avoiding the inevitable:  accepting that relaxers were not working with my hair type and allowing my hair to grow without the damage of creams and chemicals.

To sum it all up, I was attached.  More than attached, I was dependent.  I really felt that my curly roots weren’t beautiful because they were too thick, too wild, too *insert adjective here*.   I fell into the trap that so many of my fellow sisters have become caught in, blinded to the degree that they don’t recognize themselves without the addition of enhancers.  Here I speak of  weaves and perms.  But there are women who cannot step outside without foundation and eyelash extensions.  Women whose self-worth is wrapped up in a pair of silicone bags inserted above their breastbone.  Women who bleach their skin – essentially damaging their largest, protective organ-  in search of beauty.

This post is for all those women.

Which brings me back to my focal point.  I’ve been clipping those ends off.  And I’ve never felt so free.  I watch as inches of straightened hair hit the ground and not a tear is shed.  Instead, with every snip of the scissors, I feel more empowered and even more beautiful.  With every clip, I feel a resurgence of authority; an injection of vigor.

I am in control once more. I define what beauty is to me, and I wear it confidently.  

No longer shall I succumb to the photoshopped, nipped and tucked images that they plaster on billboards, magazine covers, store fronts.

No more shall I feel more beautiful disguising my features than embracing them.

I am free from the bondage of comparison.

I am chopping off the dead weight.



Art by Annie Lee

Quote of the Day

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

–  Randy Pausch

Quote of the Day

“I am my own biggest critic.  Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself.  But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical.  So I am going to stop being my own critic.  It’s high time that I accept all the great things about me.”

–  C. Joybell C.